After decades of exhausting yourself to find unique gifts for your elderly relatives, look no further.
You and the memories of what you bring are now at the very top of the “most perfect gift” list. YOU are the greatest holiday gift to the elderly!
Think about it, there is nobody else like you and there is no other person who can walk into the room, give a hug, and bring back the flood of cherished memories. And the truth is, this positive response can happen even in the face of profound memory loss. Your touch, your voice, your presence – these combine to create perfection in the world of gift-giving.
And for those who have had some erosion of relationships over time, then this holiday season is there to provide a perfect opportunity. Life offers no guarantees. So grab the moment, the season of celebration, to serve as a natural time of connection. Awkward moments are more easily absorbed in an environment of chaos and celebration. So move forward.
Hard as it may be, holidays are best celebrated as a “criticism-free zone.” When you can’t change the situation, change your attitude. Try greeting the holiday enmeshed in good cheer. Accept your parent’s choices as you want them to accept yours. And if this cheer is a one-way road, then be sure you’re on the high road. It’s never crowded.
For there is a reality out there; the likelihood that parent-child roles will most likely reverse in time. Whether through sudden illness or gradual aging, you may find yourself as the responsible party for your parents, serving as their advocate.
And, how can you possibly advocate for someone without sufficient knowledge? I’m not talking about knowing medical care and elderly options. I’m talking about understanding who your parents really are.
- What do they want from life?
- What resources are available for support?
- Who has legal authority to act on their behalf?
Guess what! There is a structured process to gather all needed information on your parent so you’ll be equipped with a plan when the time comes. But the foundation is based on acceptance, communication, and documentation.
The majority of children evolve to “parenting the parent.” Will you be ready when your time comes? That’s the holiday gift you have to give.
Be fully present. Accept. Love unconditionally. And plan. Feel what your parents feel (criticism free), so you can become an extension of them when the time comes.
Two books are available to help get you where you need to be. Age Your Way is available now to familiarize you with the advocate role. Then, next month, the Blueprint to Age Your Way will be published. It’s a guided method of fill-in-the-blank forms to ask all the right questions and fill in the blanks: legal, financial, medical, and personal.
I hope you move forward making this the best and most giving holiday season ever. Happy holidays!
