What would possess you to ask a one-arm man to clap his hands? You wouldn’t, of course! It’s obvious that you’d be asking the impossible.
However, we ask people to do the impossible all the time, not taking into account what is possible for the individual. There is no place I see this demonstrated more clearly than with the elderly. We base our expectations on what we are able to do. Or, we expect the elderly person to do what they were capable of in the past.
And the result is . . . disappointment, frustration, maybe even anger. This is unfair on both sides of the equation. To help shed light on expectations vs reality, let’s look at a daily routine for taking medications properly.
Son, Michael, asks his mother to take her medications at the day and time prescribed. Simple, right?
But, to take medications correctly combines many skills as well as the mental ability to problem solve and follow through. It also requires good eyesight, working hands, and memory. These are all skills we glibly take for granted in our youth. Let’s break it down and look closer.
Michael’s mom needs to get to the doctor (right date, right time, right doctor, safe driving) and know all the medications she is currently taking.
Then, based on changes made at the appointment, she will need to understand which drugs to stop, which to start, and any dose adjustments to the current medications. Then, she has to drive to the pharmacy to pick up any new prescriptions. Of course, she has to remember to ask for easy-open lids.
To keep prescriptions filled, mom has to maintain her prescription coverage plus have financial resources to pay. When the insurance changes, she must understand the voluminous communications that come in the mail regarding changes, discard the old insurance card, and take the new card to the pharmacy for entry into the electronic record. One wrong move and mom may wind up without prescription coverage.
It takes driving skills, memory, problem solving, and planning to get the right medications into the house. Then, mom has to figure out the rest of the steps IF she is successful getting the medications home.
- Does she stop any?
- What are the new ones for?
- Are there side effects to be aware of?
- Which pills can be taken together?
- Are there any special instructions?
- What is the right time of day?
- Does her eyesight allow her to read and understand the labels?
- What about hands?
- Does stiffness or a tremor impact handling?
- How long does it take to get a refill?
- Can mom negotiate the pharmacy voice mail for refills?
- What about the mail order process?
Of course, this becomes more complicated with every pill added and every doctor treating this patient.
Last is the question of memory. So much of living is on auto-pilot. But, what about when a fading memory leaves only questions of what has been done or not? The result could be taking medications either more or less than prescribed.
There are medication organizers that can be used but then there is a question of who fills the boxes. If this is a new routine, it can result in overwhelming resistance and confusion which I’ve see hundreds of times.
The answer – be a help. Understand the tremendous task it is to coordinate doctor appointments, medication instructions, refills, prescription insurance, and needed safeguards.
One of the best ways to stabilize health is by proper medication management. I urge each and every one of you to be an active part of the solution.
Use the checklist above, then roll up your sleeves and become involved in the medication coordination with your loved ones. When the Blueprint to Age Your Way is published in January, there will be forms to assist with this process.
Get your complimentary Medical Planning Worksheet. This is the exact worksheet I’ve developed and use with all my clients. Click here to get the worksheet.
