There is tremendous variation in the length of grieving, a natural response to a loss. No right or wrong exists as it is a process. You may believe you’re past grieving and, then suddenly, it erupts again. Holidays or special occasions can feel like the loss is fresh again. Up and down it goes, taking you for the ride. The average length of time most people take to consistently feel better is about a year.

Five long-established stages have been associated with the grief process. These stages were named almost fifty years ago by Elisabeth Kubler-Ross in her book, On Death and Dying. The stages are denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. The primary benefit of these terms being named was not that it provided a definitive list. More than that, it started a mainstream conversation about grieving. A conversation that continues to this day.

The uniqueness of grieving lies within each of you as an individual. Resilience is tremendous in some and practically nonexistent in others. Circumstances can certainly influence the length of grieving. An especially deep or long relationship makes it harder to move on quickly. Trauma associated with the loss typically extends the time.

How to help yourself? Address the grief. Again, no magic formula here. Whatever works for you: spend time with friends, maintain normal routines, take care of yourself physically, seek face-to-face support from people who care about you, get physical exercise, let others in to help.

The old adage that “time heals” is true for most but not all. When time is not providing the needed healing, then recognize additional support may be required. Professional grief counselors may have just the experience you need. Or, your grief may have morphed into depression, requiring medication.

Being “stuck” for a time is natural. However, if you are unable to function in life, have thoughts of hurting yourself, or are still actively grieving after a year, then it’s time to reach out for a larger life-raft: professional support. When you are left grieving, you are the highest priority. Take care of yourself.

Like this article? Please share it with your friends and family!
Share on Facebook
Facebook
Share on Google+
Google+
Tweet about this on Twitter
Twitter
Share on LinkedIn
Linkedin
Pin on Pinterest
Pinterest